What all do I remember? Without getting too graphic; I remember who, what, when, where, why , how and the nurse who held my hand the whole time. I remember the girl from my high school who was there, too. I remember grabbing my abdomen during the procedure and trying to do what? Stop it from being emptied? I thought my insides were being sucked out. It was all over fairly quickly - and I remember clearly thinking, "If I had known what was going to actually take place during the abortion, I would have never gone through with it. Ever." And I would never do it again no matter what and I may never have sex again, if that's what comes of it. So.....there you have it. And 40 years later, I understand why I did it, but wish with all my heart I hadn't.
Where did it all go wrong? In truth that wasn't the first bad decision I had made. There was a whole slew of bad decisions that led to that point over a few years. Was dating a bad decision? Not at all. Dating without a plan in place- a plan to limit physical intimacy until i was ready for the impact--physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually. Who even knew that all those things would be affected by just having sex and in such a powerful way? Not me. And not, I don't think do many, many of the sexually active teens and young adults today----until it does.